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If there are two things in the world that
fit together perfectly, it is a recent separation and intense emotional
drama. If you are rational minded enough to realize that knock down,
drag out fights or trying to one up one another in the dating scene is
not going to fix the problem, then you should be congratulated! You are
one step ahead of most people. It is possible to get back with your ex
without reducing yourself to less than attractive behaviors!
Instead of wasting your time brooding and crying over the wrongs you
feel your ex has committed against you, it is more productive to spend
some honest reflection on what you could have done better in the
relationship. Where were your shortcomings? Was there something that you
really regret but never discussed or apologized to your ex for?
It is extremely difficult to look at yourself critically and admit your
shortcomings, but you have a much higher chance to
get back with your ex
if you can let them know that you own your share of the blame. It is a
good idea to ask a close friend or relative to give you some honest
feedback, as they often notice things you do not realize you do!
Also, you need to understand completely what you want from the
relationship. You can then try to understand what your ex wants, and
come to them with ideas of how you can compliment one another in the
future. If there are hard feelings your ex may not be ready or willing
to speak with you at lengths, and it is important to give them space in
that case. Eventually they will be ready.
One note in parting. Space does not mean you disappear completely. Run
into them occasionally, send an email or give a phone call at regular
intervals. Just do not spend every day chasing them down or you will
only push them further away.
