The First Five Steps to Get Your Ex Back

Relationships are fragile bonds that must be continually nurtured and respected in order to flourish.  Each person involved in a relationship is responsible for providing value to the other half for a natural balance to be created.  It is when this balance is broken that problems start to occur.  Eventually an unbalanced relationship will dissolve, and this usually leaves one side still hoping things can be resolved.  Being the only one working for a resolution can be a tough and lonely proposition, but there are ways to salvage even the bleakest situations. 

Be Strong
There is an old saying that “no one needs the needy” and it applies itself well to broken relationships.  Begging, clinging, and desperate behavior is much more likely to repel your lost love rather than attract them.  Not only is it important to prove to the world that you can perceiver in the toughest of times, but you also need to prove it to yourself.  While no one is claiming that breakups are easy, keep the yelling and crying behind closed doors.

Minimize Contact
Closing the doors of communication may seem counter opposite to rebuilding a failed relationship, but it is one of the most important steps.  There is a reason that things have made it to this point, and it is obvious that someone needs a break.  Allowing time for reflection and thought is the best way to evaluate your relationship.  This also gives your Ex time to clear their mind.  It could be that some time away will remind them of how valuable your relationship was.

Be Flexible
This is not the time to start issuing mandates like “pick up your things by Monday or else”.  You are wrong if you think that you can scare someone into returning.  Remember that your Ex left you because they were unsatisfied with some facet of your relationship.  This means it is time to become the listener and sympathizer.  This does not mean you have to concede to their every demand (see Stay Strong), but you will probably have to meet beyond halfway when rebuilding the bridge of communication.

Get Out
This is no time to be alone.  Call your old friends and get out of the house.  You need to develop other forms of entertainment in your life.  This does not mean you have to date, or even look at the opposite sex (although who knows?).  It simply means you need to occupy yourself and learn to develop a self-realization of who you are.  Getting out will also be helpful for when you get back with your Ex.  Your conversations will be spurred along by some of the new stories you have to tell. 

Be Yourself
There was a reason that you and your Ex were initially attracted to each other, and this was because you are a unique person.  Think of what made these first weeks or months so special, and try to identify what has changed.  Sometimes relationships can become monotonous and you can forget what it was that made both of you compatible.  Learn to accentuate your qualities and strive to be the real person you are.  This renewed self-perception of yourself will rub off on everyone around you.