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If you
want your ex back after a bitter
break up, the odds are most likely stacked against you. The intense
emotions that come with a separation often run very deep. Even if you
can get past your share of the pain, chances are high that your ex may
find it more difficult to forgive and forget. The good news is you don’t
want them to completely forget what happened! What you want is to deal
with the problems and move forward with a valuable lesson learned on
both ends.
The most important step is not to let communications completely lapse
between the two of you. Once you have stopped talking or seeing one
another around town, the odds of getting back that spark of love stack
against you even more. It is important not to call incessantly or at all
hours of the night, but you do want to check in with them regularly so
they know you have not moved on and forgotten about them.
If you are lucky enough to have an ex that does let you into their
feelings and emotions over the break up, then it is important not to
dismiss their thoughts. They likely see things very differently than you
do, but that does not make them wrong! Validate their feelings and try
to figure out exactly what they want in a relationship.
The next step is to honestly evaluate if you can be what they want at
this point, and to let them know if you think you can. Don’t promise to
change and become someone you are not, but if there are things you can
honestly work on to strengthen the relationship let them know you
realize that fault and will improve.
If you really want your ex back, it is time to get honest with yourself
and with them. Admit your faults and be willing to do what it takes to
straighten out your own issues. It is very likely that your ex will
recognize your efforts and make their own in return.
